Pan: 50 Shades of Grey

       For as long as I have wanted to do this, I am really not too proud of the fact that 50 Shades of Grey is the feature novel in my very first post. However, everyone has to start somewhere, and as 50 Shades is EL James's first novel, it works out pretty well. Common bond established.

     I first heard the buzz on 50 Shades early one morning at work. One of the nursing ladies was reading it on her iPhone and stealing nervous glances around the room while doing so. There are a lot of male nurses in our ICU, and she didn't want to run the risk of the boys on our unit nagging her. Unfortunately, she never stood a chance. Through the adversity she stayed strong, and I'm pretty sure by the end of that 12-hour shift she had finished the book. On her iPhone. That in and of itself amazes me. She filled me in on the plot line--I use that term loosely here--during our lunch break, and I ultimately decided that I really and truly wasn't all that interested in the story. Shortly thereafter, the book made all kinds of headlines, and I finally caved at a Target late one night. Naturally, I was shoe shopping and wandered in to the book section. I thought it was about time that I should try and give Christian Grey a chance.

Yep. Ana's inner goddess has to love this song

     For those of you who do not know the history of 50 Shades of Grey, the novel is actually a professionally-edited fanfiction based on the Twilight saga. The main characters, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, are modified versions of Stephanie Meyer's Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. Ana meets Christian while subbing in as an interviewer for her university's student newspaper. From the very start of her clumsy entrance in to his office, the two are attracted to each other in a way that they themselves cannot explain. Ana is floored that the billionaire entrepreneur is even remotely interested in her, and she stumbles her way through their first few dates completely bewildered. Flash forward to Christian revealing he wants to continue seeing Ana with a BDSM twist, pending she signs his contract agreement. Eight hours of sleep a night, a personal trainer, three meals a day, weekends dedicated solely to him, and mutually agreed-upon "hard and soft limits" are just a few of his conditions. It is difficult not to sympathize with Ana as she physically and emotionally struggles with Christian's lifestyle. The book gets pretty steamy as the two explore their relationship, and you'll find yourself wanting to take a cold shower after reading a select few chapters.

     At the end of the day, I am still really and truly not interested in the story. James's overuse of "hitches" and "flush" and "oh my!" get annoying fast, and I had enough after 500 pages of the same cliche' language. I think this book could be a great recommendation to a certain type of person (this can be said about any book), but that person just isn't me. However, I can't help but laugh when I found myself interested enough to start 50 Shades Darker. The author conveniently leaves us hanging, wondering what happens with Ana and Christian. Before I knew it, I was at Target once again.